IT’S ME, THE CAT BY MICHAEL LEAVERTON
L I F E W I T H C A T T I T U D E Stella Talks About Summer
editor Michael Leaverton
has written a wide variety of articles in the last
10 years, very few of
It’s summertime, and people are making a big deal out of enjoying
which after consulting
with his cat. That ends
here. Stella is a 10-year-old Bengal with a
firm editorial grip on her handler, whom
she rescued from an alt weekly in San
Francisco many meals ago. She likes it
when he writes about chicken. They cur-
rently live in San Diego.
it, as they always do. But what about cats? Do they enjoy summer?
What do we really know about cats and summer? I sat down with
my own cat, Stella, to find out.
Me: So, how’s your summer going?
Stella: What’s summer?
Three or so months of warmer temperatures?
Oh, that summer. I thought you
meant the summer where you take
me to the beach for once in my life.
I’m sorry, you know I can’t do that.
Do you have any idea what it’s like
to use a litter box that big?
I bet it’s like when I go to the bathroom in the mulch in the backyard,
Wait — you go to the bathroom in
Of course. Haven’t you been scooping your mulch?
Oh. Well, I’d get on that right away if
I were you. Might be a bit of a horror show a couple inches down.
You know, I let you in the yard
because we have a high fence and
I thought you might like some
Fresh air makes me pee.
Back to summer: Have you done
anything different? Exciting? I know
the sun has been really hitting the
And the roof, too.
You’ve been on the roof?
Yeah, you haven’t?
You shouldn’t be on the roof. My
cat should not be on the roof.
You shouldn’t leave the bathroom
I’ll remedy that immediately. What
else have you been doing this summer that I don’t know about?
Nothing. I guess you haven’t been in
the guest bathroom lately.
What did you do in there?
It’s my spa.
What does a cat need a spa for?
The steam does wonders for my
You know how to use a shower?
And a loofah. Why do you think I
follow you into the bathroom all
Well, summer is all about partying,
Who have you been partying with?
Wait, don’t tell me.
Relax, we’re getting along great.
No wonder he’s been so skittish.
He’ll get over it. He’s just never
pulled an all-nighter with a cat.
I’ll be glad when summer’s over.
We’re just getting started, pal. I’ve
got cat yoga at noon, and the contractor will be here later to free up
We need more sunbeams in here.
Can’t let good summer sunbeams go
You know, most cats just sleep a bit
more in the summer.
Once we get those extra sunbeams,
I’ll be down till next Tuesday.
I promised myself I would tell you
about the shipment of fish.
All of this could have been avoided
if you just took me to the beach.