Many cats never have the chance to become mothers. Do they
get sad about it? Do they feel
relieved? Does it make holidays
and birthdays that much easier?
I decided to ask my cat, Stella, if
she regrets not having kittens.
Me: Stella, are you sad you never
Stella: Wait — am I pregnant?
Of course not; you’re sterile.
OH, THANK HEAVENS!
I take it you never wanted to be
I’m just so busy.
With all the grooming and the
eating and the looking out the window.
And these naps don’t take themselves.
Yes, they actually sort of do.
Hey, my naps are hard work.
Remember when I slept for a
Tuesday? I’d like to see you nap
Sorry, I have a life. And two kids.
MY POINT EXACTLY.
So you don’t miss being a mother
because you think kittens would
interfere with your naps?
That’s a poor reason.
I’m at peace with it.
I’m glad I got you spayed.
I’m much more rested this way.
Well, is there anything you
like about kittens in general?
Everybody likes kittens.
You mean all that meowing and
playing and rolling around?
Yeah. It’s cute, huh?
How do you get anything
What do you have to do?
I have to nap!
DON’T DIMINISH MY NAPPING!
Stella, I can’t believe I have to
point this out to you, but kittens
I’ve seen a kitten nap. It’s
pathetic. They wake up all the
time. They barely get past the REM
You could teach a kitten how to
Teach a cat how to nap? That’s
Someone has to tell them how
to sleep through a Tuesday.
I suppose so, but it would take
a lot of napping, starting with a lot
of napping. It sounds exhausting,
There must be something you
like about kittens. You like how
cute they are, right?
Ha! Cuteness won’t help you
take down a bunny who snuck into
I forgot you were a predator.
The back of your couch doesn’t.
Is there anything at all you like
I like how when you have kittens,
somebody comes along and takes
them so the mom can nap.
It’s called adoption, Stella.
They’re going to good homes.
IT’S ME, THE CAT
BY MICHAEL LEAVERTON
Catster.com contributing editor Michael
Leaverton has written a
wide variety of articles
in the last 10 years,
very few of which after
consulting with his cat.
That ends here. Stella is a 10-year-old
Bengal with a firm editorial grip on her
handler, whom she rescued from an alt
weekly in San Francisco many meals ago.
She likes it when he writes about chicken.
They currently live in San Diego.